The Most Common Problem with Non-Dual Awakening

So what are the most common nonduality problems? I thought I'd speak about this today because some of you who have booked zoom calls of myself share some of the obstacles or the problems you face during self inquiry or during this path of nonduality, or the path on the truth, or anything to do with trying to discover the true essence of who you are. The problems faced or the obstacles are extremely similar. And I thought I'd make this video to highlight a few so that we can cover them and have a look at them.

The Problems with Nonduality

Now, the title can be a bit misleading, the Problems With Nonduality. It's not to imply that nonduality is problematic in itself, it's more that. And it's also not to imply that the seeker or the person who's on the path is the problem either. It's no one's fault, in essence. The problems are the obstacles that are to be tackled, to, or in fact, to be reconciled with, to be observed and to be recognised and to be understood. And so most of these problems come in the form of previous memories, trauma or strong belief systems, the development of expectations of how one should be in given circumstances or future projections, anxieties, fear of what may be around the corner, what would happen if I opened the door.

And these happen and are somewhat amplified and recognised when someone awakens and recognises that there is no self, in essence, that there is no one there and they feel this peace, they feel this liberation for the very first time. And this may be referred to as insights, moments of insight. It might be a sense of freedom, happiness. Whatever it is, it's a good place.

And that's how the mind will interpret it as this is a good place. Once this is experienced, as we get on with our lives, the thoughts and all these accumulated notions, belief systems, expectations, memories, future projections, imagination, anxiety, all of this can creep up whatever form it takes. Everyone has a unique story linked to their previous trauma, maybe, but in essence, it's still trauma, right? It's still encapsulated in the form of a memory.

The Imposter Syndrome

And so this kind of starts to creep up eventually and that can give rise to some form of imposter syndrome. I don't deserve to feel peace, I don't deserve to be happy because I am feeling this pain, I'm feeling this trauma. Or this can come in a different form, where you might say that once I do this, then I will eventually be happy. Once I do that, then I will be in a better place. And in some way, when you set these expectations or you set these beliefs, you are denying the opportunity or you are denying yourself the moment. And it's illusory to deny yourself the moment, because the moment is all that there really is. There is no past, there is no future. All there is is now.

In order for you to somewhat access the past or the future. You are essentially doing that now. And so how do we go about this? How do we understand the situation, shed light on it so that we may be able to reconcile and free ourselves from this turbulence that tends to come up. And a lot of the time this turbulence is also triggered every time you do some form of meditation, some form of spiritual practise, some form of questioning, self inquiry, these kinds of practise can trigger this turbulence to bubble up to the surface. And you may observe it and you may tell yourself, okay, I am arresting as awareness and I am observing it, but eventually it can feel extremely exhausting because it just doesn't seem to go.

Post Nondual Awakening

So expectations and goals are sneaky belief systems that we develop somehow post nondual awakening. So yes, you may have a nondual awakening, but that's not really the end of the line and there never is an end of the line.

But post nondual awakening, you may set yourself expectations and belief systems that are new and they are extremely sneaky. You may have felt this peace, this serenity, and you may have seen some clarity. You're seeing the world in its ordinary way and you've conducted yourself maybe in certain times in social environments in this way you may have been inspired creatively whilst resting in this space. Then all of a sudden the turbulence of the previous trauma bubbles up and it takes over. And these expectations, they are sneaky.

Because when this trauma now bubbles up, it's essentially a sign for you to take a look into this direction, to reconcile and understand what's going on within yourself, to essentially untie the knots that have been developed over the years. When that bubbles up, the expectation that you've developed may tell you, I shouldn't be feeling this way. This is unacceptable. I should be at peace, I shouldn't be angry, I shouldn't be sad. There's a lot I shouldn't and I should.

This shouldn't, should, could have, would have, right? These are the forms in which these expectations come. And it's sneaky because you don't realise it, but all it's doing is it's creating some form of resistance now. So you have the expectation of feeling at peace, but there is anger. There happens to be anger for whatever the reason.

And so you're not allowing the light of awareness to fully shed or shine upon this anger that is appearing in this moment, because the expectation is that you shouldn't be there. And so now you may feel some type of guilt that the anger is there, even though you've told yourself that it shouldn't be there. And so this is somewhat of an example of what might happen. And so very easily, hopefully, you can see these expectations being developed and formulated and held upon. So what do we do then?

The Belief Systems

We shine the light of awareness on these belief systems and expectations so that there is no guilt when anger arises and we fully embrace it and we accept everything that arises. There's a natural okayness, a natural acceptance for whatever arises in this moment, whatever it may be. Because for us to deny a certain substrate of emotions or qualities or characteristics is to create a condition-based reality. And we are really going back to square one. We are confining ourselves in an image of how things should be and who we want to be and who we are.

And really the dissolution of this false image or the separate self takes place initially because we are accepting everything that appears as it appears. And by doing that, whatever illusions have been constructed, they dissolve in the vastness of reality or what appears. The moment there is resistance is also the moment we are fueling that which is constantly persistent, whether it's the anxiety, whether it's the pain, whether it's the trauma. And so acceptance is the lack of resistance thereof. We are allowing the river to just flow and be through and through.

And this can be challenging at times because you may have had a habit or a particular belief system that you've carried for years on end years the same thought pattern and all of a sudden you're shedding light on this thought pattern but so strongly chiselled and cemented and engraved in stone was extremely difficult for it to dissolve away. But that's also okay, that's also something that we accept. And the mind will come up with many different excuses over and over to justify why a particular set of traumas or past experiences should be around. And this justification is done to retain the sense of identity that has been developed around this trauma now. I have experienced this in my past and somehow it's giving you some sort of sense of worthiness, for the lack of a better word, but in essence, it's giving you some sense of identity for being, which is absurd because you are recognising this trauma.

The Takeaway

So allow the light of awareness to shine through and through as it does, regardless, the moment you avoid something, it means that you have recognised this presence. And so avoiding it is an illusory method of convincing yourself that it's not there somehow. And so it will inevitably come up to shine the light of awareness in every dark corner of the mind and whatever appears. And would that have the acceptance through and through. When that past memory wants to bubble up again, this emotion wants to intensely come up again, accept it, go all in, get to the bottom of it, feel it, feel the depths of the pain that this emotion wants you to feel, in essence, because that is what's appearing right now.

And so allow it to appear in its fullest. And so instead of combining our lenses so that we don't see a particular part or intensity of emotion that's just around the corner, let's remain open. And then eventually and I don't want to say eventually here because it might develop another expectation. Well, Hassan said this, so why is it not happening then? So this is my encouragement to you to accept whatever appears in reality through and through.

Thank you for reading the blog! You may click here to access the full video on YouTube.

Thank you for reading the blog! You may click here to access the full video on YouTube.

Thank you for reading the blog! You may click here to access the full video on YouTube.